One Year Ago Today...

Today is May 1^st, and last year on May 1^st at exactly this time I was running my first marathon in the pouring rain.  It’s only 8:30 so we were getting close to the half way point and my bathroom break.  It had been raining for almost 13 miles non-stop.  Abby and I were also getting close to being at Lake Hefner where the sun did break through the clouds and we got excited about it and I tossed my gloves.  Boy was that a mistake.

Don’t we look awesome here?  This was the finish.  26.2 miles 4 hours and 30+ miles after we started.  I guess it was really 16 weeks and 4 hours and 30+ minutes later.  A marathon isn’t just about the 26.2 miles; it’s about all the miles that lead up to getting you to the starting line.  They were some hard, painful, fun, crazy miles that got us to this picture.  Might be the crappiest race picture ever, why couldn’t we have good weather so you could see our awesome Team OK Runner shirts, and my brand new black sparkly Sweaty Band?

One year later I am wearing this shoe that I wore on May 1^st last year.

Except it’s paired with this shoe…

 The single most expensive shoe I’ve ever owned.  I did get to ditch it for about 10 days, but I had to give it up for crutches.  That sucked even more. 

A year ago I didn’t think I’d be here, and it’s been a very long 7+ weeks already and I have a feeling it isn’t going to be any easier in the weeks to come. 

A couple of weeks ago I got this from our fearless leader of the OK Runner running group and it really put it all into perspective for me:

If you think you are destined to run and run well next week, you may fail.  There are things out of your control, like injury or the weather like that dealt those at Boston or Hogeye this past week, etc.  I hope you see that to be here, where you are right now, is a part of your destiny.  You will only triumph if you handle whatever tragedy you face with heartfelt dedication and profound effort.  Your success won't be determined next Sunday.  Your success will be determined when you've run your last race.  Sunday run with your heart, think, react well and enjoy the ride.  When that feather floats gently upon your lap and you look back, I hope you can look back realizing you did everything you could and did well. 

Sunday wasn’t my race to run, my race is down the road and my friends that have stuck with me for the last seven weeks and listened to me complain and have self pity and self doubt will be by my side until I get there and beyond.

  

If I was patient, I don’t think I’d be a runner, I think I’d be okay with just walking.  I thought I would be back out there running today, but my body has a different plan for me.  I’m going to continue to try to take deep cleansing breaths and deal with the frustration with as much grace as I can muster.